Week 25. Guinea. Kansiyé w/ Vegetarian Joloff

When I was five I got my first pet, a Guinea Pig. Fudge was his name, but there was a problem; Fudge was not a him, she was a her, and she was loaded with little pigs. Within a month we had three more Guinea Pigs but that was not where the problem stopped. The little blighters have to spend three months suckling their mother, but they can breed with their mother after just six weeks, therefore meaning as long as they do breed (which they will) you cannot escape the fact that you are now the owner of a Guinea Pig farm.  I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if they were cute and fluffy, but they are agressive and bite…a lot. I totally understand why in South America the G’Pig issue is resolved by roasting them and eating them.

Why Guinea Pigs are so called is even more of a mystery as, even though there are four countries in the world containing “Guinea” (Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Ecuatorial Guinea and Papua New Guinea) they are originally from South America and supposedly their name changed in error as they came from Guiana – or Frency Guyana. Who knows, but what I do know is those facts are truely the only facts I ever want or need to know about the little rats.

Not a lot is available on the food of Guinea; not in comparison to other countries I have looked into – even tiny Vanuatu had more to delve into. After considerable research I found Kansiye, which seemed largely European until the blending in of Peanut Butter. It sounded good, but I was concerned there was no hint of spice. I decided to proceed. I added Joloff rice (the vegetarian version) as the Kansiye needed to be served with something and Joloff is certainly African.

In review, the rice was intened to be the sideshow but became the main event. It was an African Paella and with all the depth and flavour you would expect from the Spanish Equivilant. The Kansiye tasted very strange. The peanut butter made it satay like, but as strong as satay and as tasty as satay is, you don’t want two ladles of it. I think it could be good, but reduce the peanut by a half and add some chillies. I am going to show the recipe as I made it, so do as you choose (def reduce it!).

In summary. Make the Joloff and eat it hot or cold, but never, ever, have a Guinea Pig for a pet. You will definately regret it.


Joloff Rice:

Cook and drain 1.5 cups of  brown rice.

Whilst you are doing this in a pan or wok, fry off the following in oil (all veg diced of course):

  • 1 Onion
  • 1 Red Pepper
  • Handful of Green Beans
  • Handful of Peas
  • 2 tomatoes

Then add:

  • Big pinch black pepper
  • Big pinch dried Thyme
  • Big Squeeze of Tomato Puree
  • Pinch of Tumeric

Once you have stirred this all together for a few minutes add the rice back in and warm. Done


This recipe is very simple:

  • 500g Diced Beef
  • 1 Onion
  • 2 Cans Chopped tomatoes
  • 2 tablespoons peanut butter
  • tsp salt
  • tsp pepper
  • 1/2 tsp thyme
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 1tbsp parsley

In a casserole type dish brown the meat and onions. When brown, throw in the rest of the ingredients (apart from the peanut butter) and cook for 10 mins. Add the peanut butter and then a glass of water and stew for 1.5 hours.


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